Nannies: 5 tips to make life easier!

Nannies, from experience, I know your days can be busy, and expectations high so here are some tips on how to keep organised and not feel as though time is passing, your days are filled, but somehow they all feel the same.

• Buy an expanding file (or set up a file on your computer) and label it Activity Ideas.  Then label sections/subheadings with Indoors, Outdoors, Rainy Day, Outings.  You can break these down further if you wish eg Indoors: Toddler; Indoors: Preschool; Indoors: Crafts.  Under these headings, sort all the ideas you have collected over the years and are still collecting, and add new ones as you go.  We know that activity suggestions are very popular on our Facebook page. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Susan-Rogan-Family-Care/208310935855127

• Make a weekly timetable.  This is not about being regimented, 'ring the bell and change activities', it is to give you (and your client family) a guideline of what you are planning for the week.  Just list the days, and put activities next to them.  This will also help keep track if you have specific timetabled activities eg story time at the library; Gymbaroo.  It also helps you not to fall into a rut, doing the same things all the time and that you get a balance of indoor and outdoor time.  You also need to build in a routine of tidying up after lunch and each play activity so the house doesn't look like a bomb blast at the end of the day (even if you found it that way).

• While I've suggested a weekly timetable, bring with you each day a flexible attitude so that you can be spontaneous eg you've planned an outing to the park but it's raining cats and dogs.  Just like adults, children vary in their moods and sometimes your initial plans just aren't appropriate on the day.  Of course, too, they grow and develop new skills so what you were doing with them 2 or 3 months ago needs variation to still present a challenge.

• Set up a communication book with your client families.  In the front list:

                Address and telephone number of the house
                Parent(s) names remembering that parents may have different surnames,                                           workplaces and contact numbers and emergency contact numbers
                Children's names, dates of birth
                Important medical conditions of children eg allergies, epilepsy
                Name, address and phone number of family doctor
          Each day enter what the children had for lunch, activities and reactions, any quirky
          sayings, minor accidents etc.  Ask parents also to contribute eg children unwell.

• Give yourself time greet the children and communicate with parents at the beginning of the day by being on time. At the end of the day, don't rush out the door when you hear the car in the drive, but take time to say goodbye to the children, give them a hint of what you'll do the next day you see them, and spend a few minutes with the parents.

Who knows, with all this organisation Supernanny may be looking for a new job and you'll be out there starring !!!!

What's a parent worth?

Late last year I was asked to give evidence in a damages case that required me to estimate the financial value of a mother.

Not being an economist, I based my valuation on nanny care costs, plus some additional amounts for household management.  It was very much a 'guesstimate' and undoubtedly an underestimate, as I vaguely recall the occasional newspaper story which has come up with an astronomical amount based on the hourly wage rates for all the different aspects of being a parent eg child care, cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring, etc.

The problem with these estimates is that they are an attempt to put a figure on only part of the parenting role.  Sometimes there are attempts to add in the value of such roles as counselling and social organisation,  but these tend to be in the more 'humorous' articles.

Of course, too, these attempts only consider the economic value of parents, but what are the intangibles of being a parent, or perhaps more accurately, a child's experience of a parent?

Some possibilities might include:

• Love, a bond of mutual care, belonging. Ideally this doesn't require a child to be good, or act in some prescribed manner to be experienced.

• Dependability, the 'being there factor', the backstop.  Even when parents feel inadequate, the fact that they don't run away or shirk the issues is something many children value. 

• Shared history, a knowledge of shared experiences good and bad, that shape our lives.  Outsiders might share some of these, but it is the day to day shared experience, and often little details, that children remember.

These, I think, are the most important parts of parenting, and are the parts that last.  Some us are more fortunate than others in these areas and their economic value lies in their absence because where they are missing, mental health can be at risk.

But does parenting ever stop?  Those of us with elderly parents know that while they may now be increasingly dependent on us to meet a variety of their needs, they are still our parents.  When they die, it is these intangibles that we will miss most.

5 ways for a nanny to lose a dream job

Nannies, at the end of last week's post I did promise you this....so take note and practise well if you want to lose your dream job.

1. Be demanding, asking for as much money per hour as you can get, because, if people are rich enough to afford a nanny they can afford to pay more.  If possible, even if you've told the agency that you are happy with the amount being offered, try to squeeze a bit more at interview.

2. Be late, or better still, ring at the last minute and cancel the day's work, because you are only looking after children for people who should really be at home looking after their own children.

3. Be less than honest about your daily activities, after all you have the whole day to fill in and with no one watching, who knows what you do????.  Since they can't tell, park babies and young children front of the TV while you phone your friends or use Facebook.  With older children, set them to play, then get on the phone, breaking off from time to time to supervise.  When you go out with the children, spend most of the time in the neighbourhood cafe meeting up with friends.  Don't tidy after the children have played so the parents know their treasures have been busy.  Leave your dishes for the parents to wash because they'll have to clean up after dinner anyway.

4. Be disrespectful of family values, using food, especially lollies, as bribes and using threats to get the behaviour you want.  Who's going to know, and anyway, that's what most people do, isn't it?  Isn't it?

5. Be a snoop and blabbermouth, reading mail, bills etc, and telling all your friends details of the family's life.  If they don't want thins made public, the parents shouldn't leave them lying around.  And if you are really sneaky, there's money to be made from the gossip mags.

Over the past two blogs, I've given parents and nannies the benefit of my advice on what to do to break their relationships.  I'm sure you have realised that I have been somewhat tongue in cheek, and neither our clients nor our nannies fit these stereotypes.

The golden rule for the nanny-client relatuionship, as for all realtionships, is to be respectful of each other and to communicate clearly and honestly.

5 ways to lose a good professional nanny

Parents, I'm always happy to offer advice and here is my action plan to lose your good nanny:

1. Be mean and don't negotiate with a nanny over pay increases and leave.  You could even go so far as insisting the nanny provide her own tea and coffee.  You pay the nanny to work, not sit around drinking tea and coffee.

2. Be unreliable and stay late at work without notice and negotiation.  Your time and job is important, and nannies shouldn't have a life of their own.

3. Be inconsiderate and insist on the nanny doing the housework you hate eg washing up from the previous night's dinner party; washing and ironing your clothes.  'Other duties as required' in a contract means just that, and when the children are asleep or occupied, there is plenty of time to do 'extras".

4. Be thoughtless and refuse to acknowledge the work your nanny is doing with your child/children.

5. Be jealous and accuse the nanny of trying to take your child's affection.  You are the parent and even if the nanny spends more time with and is more responsive to the child, you should get cross and put the nanny down when the children say, 'Jemima always takes us to the park' or 'lets us eat jelly'.

Watch out next time for '5 ways for a nanny to lose a dream job.'

The N.... word

Today I want to take up the theme of professional nannies again to support the efforts of Tracey McDermott, a Susan Rogan nanny, and some of her colleagues who are trying to change public perceptions of nannies by forming a group to lobby for training and regulation of their industry.
(Article from The Weekend Australian 12-13 May 2012, reprinted at /http://www.susanrogan.com.au/news/nannies-fight-back-over-glorified-cleaners-stereotype/)

It is only a couple of weeks since media personality Chrissie Swan came out as having a nanny, something she previously felt embarassed to do because of the image of nannies being employed by the wealthy, upper classes.  By actually using the N.... word, she gave heart to many in the industry who are sick of being seen as simply baby sitters, or cleaners.

When I commented on the agency facebook page about the negative use of the term "nanny state" or more recently "nanny nation", nannies agreed.  It is a put down and has overtones of the state knowing best, acting to protect people from themselves.  Imagine the howls if the term used was 'mummy state'.

This negative image is perpetrated by those in the child care field who now prefer to use the term 'early childhood educators' for anyone who works in long day care, as though the only proper role in caring for children was to educate them.  Now perhaps this is intended in the widest sense of the word 'educate', relating to programs aimed at developing children's social, emotional, cognitive and cultural skills.  As such, all parents are educators, though they would probably be surprised to know that trickling warm water over a baby in a bath was allowing them to experience gravity (in the action of the water), developing their awareness of warmth as opposed to cold, and learning what sensations are pleasurable.  And so on...But this use of 'educators' overlooks the care function, the attachment to a stable caring figure possible when there are only, typically, one or two children being looked after by a nanny.

The majority of our nannies have formal qualifications ranging from TAFE diplomas and certificates, university degrees including early childhood, nursing and teaching.  These are not Mickey Mouse, two hour, or one day courses: they involve child development, and practical work over a considerable period of time.

The Australian Childcare Alliance which represents long day care  has stated that child care at home is dangerous to children.  This is offensive, to nannies and to parents. It is a scare tactic to protect the interests of its members.  Child care centres are regulated but are not inherently safer than family homes.  Accidents still happen, the result of behaviour of other children, inattentive supervision of a large group of children and chance.  I recall a boy at my children's kindergarten breaking his leg in a fall, right in front of the teacher.

As the cost of formal daycare rises, it also makes good economic sense to employ a nanny if there are two or more children in the family, and who can be there even when the children are unwell, a circumstance that would see them excluded from formal care.

Professional nannies, who take their work seriously, provide a range of activities for children and keep their skill up to date through in-service programs deserve the support of the community, and are to be congratulated for their attempt to improve the image of their industry.

Somebody has to do it!

Definition:	cleaning, maintaining a home
Synonyms:	administration, bed-making, cooking, domestic art, domestic science, dusting, home economics, homemaking, housecraft, housekeeping, ironing, laundering, management, mopping, sewing, stewardship, sweeping, washing

This extract from thesaurus.com only includes the actions of housework. It doesn't include the value loaded terms like drudgery and chores, adjectives like repetitive, boring and neverending that I tend to mentally add when my thoughts or actions venture in this direction.

I know I need to keep things clean for health reasons, and for aesthetics, and I really enjoy the virtuous buzz when everything spakles and looks good.  And I quite enjoy the water related aspects of 'the job': washing, mopping the floors, even washing up (water play for seniors).  But then along comes a dirty footprint, a mug on the bench, spatters and drips from the cooking, and it all needs doing again.

I can guiltily admit to my children asking who was coming when I embarked on a spot of spring cleaning, and if there was ever an incentive to being a working mother, it was being able to justify paying to have a cleaner!

By experience I have learnt, that keeping things tidy, putting away as things are used, doing a 'tidy round' at least once a day, stop the house looking as if slobs live here.  And wiping spills as they happen, keeping the washing up to date and putting it away frsh from the line or dryer are all good practices.  BUT keeping up with the ironing is not one of my attributes.  Thank heavens we are now wearing winter clothes which don't require as much care as the cottons and linens of summer!

Yet when I think back to my mother and grandmother, how easy we have it.  

• Washing machines and dryers instead of the copper, troughs of 'blue' to keep the whites white, starch to be mixed and used (ending up with clothes like cardboard), wringers to get the clothes as dry as possible before hanging.
• Electric steam and spray irons instead of the sprinkle bottle andflat irons that had to be constanatly reheated.
• Vacuum cleaners instead of rolling up the rugs, putting them over the clothes line and beating them.
• Many different appliances to beat, chop and mix compared to knives, graters and rotary beaters and whisks.

And clothes were mended, altered, cut down to make things for children; socks were darned, as were holes in jumpers; sheets cut down the middle and turned to even the wear and extend their life.

At least all that physical exercise kept the women ( you know whose role it all was!) fit and healthy.  And there was certainly a degree of competition in keeping 'a good house', and pride taken in its achievement.

For me, it tends towards drudgery, but it is also a time when I can think through things that are worrying me, work off emotional energy, make plans, indulge in flights of fantasy about the home for lost socks and occasionally, concentrate on what I'm doing.

And a sparkling house, of which I'm proud, it its own reward....until the next footprint, abandoned mug or cooking mess!

Flexible Care for Working Mothers/Parents

In ancient history, when I was young, hardly anyone's mother worked.  In fact, public servants, on marriage often lost their permanent positions, and I think bank staff had to resign.  In the seventies, when I was having my children, it was acceptable for married women to work, but still, as there was no maternity leave, having children generally meant long periods out of the workforce, losing seniority and dulling skills.

While some still debate the pros and cons of working mothers compared with stay at home mothers, we now have maternity leave, paid for a period, flexible working hours, job sharing, working from home, all attempts to cater for the needs of working parents.

We have certainly come a long way, thanks to the feminists and women's liberation and the efforts of unions and some far-sighted politicians.

Some employers are more flexible than others, and there is no doubt that for small business in particular, it can be difficult to offer flexibility while ensuring that the needs of the business are met.

Alongside this growth in work options for women has come the growth in the childcare industry.  Centre based care, family day care and home based care are the main sectors, interestingly enough, a largely female workforce.

As director of Melbourne's premier nanny agency, Susan Rogan Child Care I face the issues for employers and employees.  As an employer of approximately 100 nannies as well as office staff, I am affected by maternity leave provisions, and I am closely involved in supporting parents to participate in the workforce. 

My agency offers many possibilities for care, private and government funded.  In private arrangements we can, for a fee, recruit a nanny whose employment then becomes the responsibility of the family, or we can recruit a nanny and act as employer taking on all the tasks this involves: WorkCover, tax and sick and annual leave provisions, charging a family on-going fees.

The  Federal Government's In-Home Care Program, is targeted at  working parents whose cannot access other forms of approved childcare.  This includes shift workers, families with sick or disabled children and families in crisis. Families who can access In Home Care get government funding to help with the cost but government limit the number of places we can provide.

The issue of childcare is now recognised by major political parties, and has become an area where different bids are being made to win the support of the electorate.  This process has started to pit the different sectors of the childcare industry against each other, each seeking to promote the needs of their sector for funding and future viability.  The In-Home Care sector is probably the smallest and thus has the weakest voice.  Sneering remarks are made about 'middle class welfare' but this ignores the needs of particular groups of workers and the right of parents to choose the model of childcare they prefer. The National In-Home Care Association continues to lobby for the program to continue as one part of a broad range of initiatives to offer flexibility for the care of children.

http://www.susanrogan.com.au/