Safe Summer: a refresher course

It's December and with it have come a few 30°C days and already there are reports of children being locked in cars, bush and grass fires have started in various parts of the state and soon we'll have warnings about water safety on TV.  Each year it seems as if summer catches us unaware, and the things we knew last year have to be refreshed.  While we support the ideas of Free Range Kids and other advocates for children not being cocooned, this freedom should have some limits as far as basic safety is concerned.

So let's have a refresher on summer safety:

• Never leave children unattended in a car.  This morning's Age had a report saying that in the 12 months to August, Ambulance Victoria received reports of more than 900 children locked in cars.  their tests show that even on 29°C days temperatures inside a car can reach 44°C in 10 minutes and 60° within 20 minutes.

More information on leaving children in cars from the NRMA

• Dehydration affects babies and young children very quickly.  Feed babies more often, offer water to children before they play outside and then about every 20 minutes, and even when children are playing inside ensure water is always available.  Sugary drinks are not a replacement for water as they can often dehydrate. If the children are outside, try to alternate very energetic activities with some quieter play.

For more information on dehydration and children in hot weather see this page from the Better Health Channel

• Australia has very high rates of skin cancer, and the problems can start in childhood.  Remember the old: Slip on a t-shirt, Slop on the suncream (a broad spectrum, water-resistant SPF 30+,at least 20 minutes before exposure to the sun) and Slap on a hat (with a broad brim, not a cap).  Limit the amount of time children are exposed to direct sun, especially in the middle of the day, as suncream only reduces the risk of sunburn it does not prevent it. 

For further information on sun safety see the leaflet about Outdoor Play the Sunsmart Way, published by Sunsmart

• Water safety is essential, as children aged 0-4 have the highest rate of drowning of any age group in Australia, according to the Australian Bureau of Statistics.  The figure suggest though that few of these children die while swimming, paddling or wading, but rather as a result of falling or wandering into water.  The difference seems to be attributed to the fact that children of this age are generally not allowed to swim or paddle without adult supervision.  Backyard pools and inland waterways are high danger areas and children of this age are not able to reliably obey rules like 'don't go near the water'.  Often drownings in these circumstances are the result of confusion about who is meant to be supervising the child, so be sure to make this clear.  Older children are not appropriate as supervisors for their younger siblings as they can get involved in their own games.  Most public swimming pools now have signs about the minimum age required for those supervising little children.

For more information on water safety see the Child Safety Handbook published by the Royal Children's Hospital and Safe Fun with Water on the Raising Children network site.

• Supervision of children around barbecues, and camp fires, is essential.  Burns can be very painful and can scar for life.  Charcoal barbecues can be easily tipped over by children, or knocked over when they run past, and all retain enough heat to cause a burn for some time after they are extinguished.  Campfires are fun, but need to be properly extinguished and children kept away from the site until the ashes are cold. It should go without saying to obey the laws relating to Total Fire Ban days but this is just a refresher!  Given the weather on these days, it is also wise not to venture into bushland for a picnic.

For more information on children and barbecues I found a great page on www.air-n-water.com

• Insect bites can be a problem in summer.  Use the various repellents if children will be outdoors, especially in the late afternoon and early evening. Snakes can be a problem in some suburban areas, especially near lakes and creeks.  Teach older children to keep well away from snakes and keep a look out if younger children are outside in areas where snakes are prevalent, especially at dawn and dusk.

For more information on bites, stings etc see the Child Safety Handbook .

Summer in Australia is a wonderful time for holidays and outdoor living, which with a few sensible precautions can be a safe experience for people of all ages. Enjoy it, have fun and be careful when the weather is extreme.

Chri... the word I've been avoiding!

I've been avoiding it, but now December has started I really can't pretend Christmas is not upon us, though perhaps not, if the predictions of Doomsday on 21 December come to pass.  I have however lived through many such predictions so I think I just have to face reality and the growth of pre-Christmas hysteria: 

Shop 'til you drop... parties... baking... ideas for home-made decorations and gifts... food, food and more food... the odd drop of drink... trees to trim... arrangements for family get-togethers... Carols by Candlelight, all combined with end of year concerts... school break ups and speech nights and complicated by the weather, which in Melbourne at least can be 39 one day and 17 the next. Yes. it's December and we're creeping towards the Christmas climax.

Every year we wonder why we put ourselves through it and promise that it will be simpler, that we will be better organised, all presents will be bought by the end of November...yet somehow the fever strikes again.  

So why do we do it all?

Religious reasons.  For Christians it's the celebration of the birth of Christ, Emmanuel, God with us and is thus the basis for their celebrations, for carol singing, nativity scenes and plays and church services.

Cultural reasons. There is also the cultural overlay of Santa Claus/Father Christmas and a mighty commercial push to give bigger, better, more expensive gifts, to gather friends and families together to eat at tables groaning with food and to drink copiously, again the subject to much advertising.  Christmas has become a celebration of family, or of an ideal we have of family, often not matched by the reality of feuds and undercurrents!

Unavoidable reality. We can't avoid the fact that in Australia Christmas coincides with summer, the end of the school year and the long holidays so there will be a range of school/kinder/child care year activities combined with Christmas ones and younger children in particular will tend to be suffering from end of school tiredness and associated behaviours!

Tradition.  We've always done it this way.  Thus there are the historical images of bush huts sweltering in the heat with women over wood ovens turning out rich roast dinners and hot steamed puddings.  Fortunately over recent years, more and more people are turning to more weather appropriate meals: seafood, cold meats, salads, berries, ice cream puddings, but often each of these changes has been greeted with some mutterings about how 'Mum wouldn't have done it like that.'  And then there are the difficulties when couples marry. Where to go for Christmas: lunch at one and dinner at the other? Christmas Eve at one, Christmas Day at the other?  And still more complicated when there are different cultural and religious traditions in the two families!  And let's not forget all those songs and images of white Christmases!  Still we see Santa arriving on surfboards and fire trucks, by plane in outback communities, by Six White Boomers according to Rolf Harris.  And occasionally we might even sing an Australian Christmas Carol like 'The north wind is tossing the leaves' or the 'Carol of the Birds' to give a taste of reality amongst all that northern hemisphere snow!

Newspapers, magazines and blogs since about September have been full of advice about:

• stress free approaches to it all;

• the need in our wealthy world to adopt a simpler approach;

• the value of taking time to enjoy the excitement, especially of children;

• the fact that many people will go without, so we should give time and money to enable them to share in the seasonal festivities;

• the perennial debate about whether schools, preschools and child care centres should sing Christmas carols or have nativity plays, or even celebrate the season at all out of deference to those of other or no religions

Unfortunately for many in our community, this is a difficult time of the year.

• Those who have lost much loved members of their family during the year face the fist celebration without them.  In our house, we always toast 'absent friends' which brings to mind these family members, and those who are also separated by distance interstate or overseas.
• Alcohol and drugs and the road toll will spoil the season for many families, bringing death, injury, violence and unpleasantness and each year the joy will be tinged with the sadness of remembrance of these events.
• The lonely, mentally ill and the homeless members of our society feel excluded from the spirit of family and togetherness and sentimentality that pervade our celebrations and media.  Many wonderful people give time and effort to including these marginalised members of society in various charity meals, but this cannot completely erase the pain and rates of hospital admissions and suicides soar at this time of year.

Whatever approach you take to Christmas, give generously, receive graciously, enjoy the season and keep safe.

At Susan Rogan Family Care, we wish all our families and their nannies, and all our readers a joyful Christmas season and a happy new year.

Sex and sexism!

At present, every newspaper, current affairs program and talk back radio show seems to be full of sex, sexism or both.

We have had:

• The appalling stories of child sexual abuse both within the Catholic church and more broadly in the community, which have led to the announcement of a federal government Royal Commission.  While this is not before time, it will be a massive undertaking and will be in the media for a long time to come.  It is be hoped that raising the community's awareness of the issue will ultimately lead to solutions being found that both reduce the incidence and help the victims recover and also punish the perpetrators and those who have covered up their crimes.
• The apparently sexually motivated murders of 2 young women in a short period of time which have resulted in marches to end the violence against women, and to 'Reclaim the night' so that women can go out at night safely. Along with this, there was the annual celebration (if that is the right word) of White Ribbon Day last week to raise awareness of broader issues of violence against women.
• The Prime Minister's now famous 'misogyny' speech aimed at the Leader of the Opposition but which has also led to a heightened awareness of sexism and how it affects attitudes to women and their role in society. 
• In reflecting on young men and 'date rape', sexual assaults and general hooligan behaviour I heard someone suggesting that adolescent males needed to learn about proper behaviour towards young women.  I thought of a story I heard recently when a 4 year old  told his very sensitive 'new age' father that he was boss of his wife, the boy's mother, probably an idea he had picked up from daycare as it was never an idea even considered in the home.  I think the attitude towards women starts in community attitudes that children pick up long before adolescence and despite recent efforts to educate men and the community in general we have a long way to go. It is probably a case of how people treat each other that is the issue, as violence between men is not appropriate either.
• Yesterday the Minister for Defence and the Chief of the Armed Forces issued a statement apologising for sexual abuse within the armed Forces and promising to redress the issues.
• This has been followed by the release today of figures showing the lack of women in senior management positions in Australian companies.  Men hold 2148 line management positions in the top 500 ASX companies compared to 141 women, according to Adele Ferguson in this morning's Age.  In discussing this she raises the issue of women leaving the workforce at least temporarily, to have children and calls for governments to consider the impact their decisions have on working women, including the need for a complete overhaul of the childcare system.  While obviously some employers are more family friendly than others, there is a need for more flexible working arrangements for women and for a range of flexible childcare responses. As a nanny agency we can tailor our services to meet the needs of working families, but we often find we need couples to consider staggering their working hours so that their nannies don't have to 12 or more hours.  Nannies are people with their own lives too, and will quickly burn out if expected to work 60 hour weeks!

Yes, sex and sexism has been in the news and it raises hard issues.  It would be easy to throw up our hands and say 'it is all too hard', or 'that the Government must do something' but it also begins with us. 

As parents, nannies, child care workers we need to:

• encourage mutual respect between children, and model in our dealings with each other and with children, ways of respectfully behaving.   
• to practise and teach assertiveness and the recognition of our rights and the rights of others.  
• be aware of the subtle ways that sexism permeates our attitudes and guard against its influence.  In our picture the boy says 'Mum, I'm wearing the blue dress cos I'm a boy'

It is up to us to create the world we want for our children.

Australians, a wonderful cultural mix

 I am of English/Irish heritage, from Nineteenth Century immigration.  I like to 'wear the green' on St Patrick's Day but apart from that pay little attention to my cultural background.  This is probably because when I was born i was the dominant culture.  During my primary schooling I sat in classes of 50 or 60, filled with the children of the immediate post World War 2 migration boom.  Apart from the fact that they had different food in their lunch boxes and didn't all speak English, I didn't take much notice of them, I was too busy getting on with my own life.

It became part of our growing up that Greek and Italian families, in particular, were moving into the inner suburbs, buying up houses, digging vegetable gardens and growing vines.  Their children started to go to university, some fulfilling their parents' dreams by becoming doctors and lawyers.  We noticed the growth of the restaurants in Lygon Street, and Brunswick, and gradually our tea drinking was supplemented by coffee drinking and our eating tastes broadened.

New waves of migration brought Turks, Lebanese and South Americans, then as the Vietnam war and White Australia policy ended, first came the Vietnamese and more recently Chinese and Indians, followed by migrants from many parts of Africa.  Gradually the old Anglo-Irish monoculture has been replaced by a multiracial, multicultural society.  It is amazing to think that this transformation has taken place in less that 70 years and while there have been, and continue to be, tensions and difficulties, it has been a generally smooth transition.


Last week I had the pleasure of attending a talk by Alice Pung, the young Australian born writer and lawyer of Cambodian-Chinese heritage.  She spoke very movingly about her father, and his life as a survivor of the killing fields and refugee in Australia.  These stories are contained in her book My Father's Daughter.  Since then I have been reading a book she has edited where many people have shared their experiences of growing up as Asian children in Australia.  Yes, as the first newcomers to look non-European they experienced teasing and racism, but they were also encouraged by their parents to work hard and to succeed.

The enrichment of our culture by the introduction of foods from so many parts of the world is often cited as one of the chief benefits of migration, but the culture has been enriched in many other ways.  Education has opened the way  for the professions and businesses to be filled by the children of the first generation of migrants, friendships formed at school and university cross cultural backgrounds and there are an increasing number of intercultural relationships.


The Early Years Learning Framework (EYLF) promotes the value of 'Cultural Competence', saying:

Cultural competence is much more than awareness
of cultural differences. It is the ability to understand,
communicate with, and effectively interact with
people across cultures. (p. 16)

That this should happen in Child Care Centres and pre-schools across the country is an important part of the process of understanding, acceptance and tolerance of difference and appreciation of our shared humanity.  At Susan Rogan Family Care, we require that nannies are sensitive to family values and that they work within the EYLF.  For some nannies this has required educating themselves about particular communities, and following dietary and other cultural practices.  For the last 2 years nannies have also been invited to donate books at Christmas to the Asylum Seeker Resource Centre in West Melbourne. 

There are many political questions about migration which are regularly debated and on which people hold strong views.  The first time I saw a woman in a burqa, it was quite confronting but it is more common now although the debate continues about whether it should be allowed.  The fact that we can debate these questions and hold different views is a healthy sign. 

And the fact that our monocultural society has changed forever is also healthy and in our food tastes, festivals and living together we need to celebrate it.

Links you might like:

Understanding Cultural Competence

Cultural Competence-stories about work in progress
Asylum Seeker Resource Centre
Alice Pung, including references to her books

Rhymes, Rhythm and Music

A friend said her Maternal and Child Health Nurse commented that she had never heard a 6 month old vocalising as much as her daughter.  Perhaps it would be mean to say, 'like mother, like daughter', but this is probably true. Babies have been regularly engaged in 'conversations' with their parents are much more likely to be early and engaged talkers themselves.  This means active engagement with eye contact and facial expressions as part of the interaction, not just hearing a lot of background talk.

It is also about having fun with sounds.  Responding in pleasure to their noises, imitating back the sounds and describing what you are doing eg 'I'm changing your nappy now.  Yuck what a mess!'

But it also includes the baby rhymes and actions:

• Round and round the garden...
• Can you keep a secret????
• This little piggy went to market...
• Pat-a-cake, pat-a-cake baker's man...
• I went to the barber's shop...( Did you know this was based on the murderous barber Sweeny Todd?)

Nursery rhymes are great fun, although the range of rhymes we tend to say these days seems to have diminished.  What has happened to

• Round and round the cobbler's bench...
• Tom, Tom the piper's son...
•  Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross..
• Mary, Mary, quite contrary...
• Old King Cole..
• Dr. Foster went to Gloucester... and to many other traditional rhymes? They were great for sounds, actions and images even though many of them are not perhaps meaningful in a modern world, though it's fun to learn the background of some of the rhymes, which is not always suitable for children.  Not everything has to be full of meaning to be enjoyable!

Part of the pleasure of these rhymes is the rhythms that go with the words.  Learning the rhythm of speech is an important part of language learning eg statements are flat, questions go up, instructions are given in a different tone from statements.

Rhythm also invokes actions: clapping, stamping, drum beats, rhythm sticks, rattles and we're starting to get into music, tunes, and more and more complicated rhythms.

If I were asked what I would miss most if I were deaf, obviously the answer would be the voices of my family and friends, but coming in close behind would be music.  Music in all its forms: classical, rock, folk, jazz, opera and the many different traditions that come under the heading of world music.  Making and listening to music is, I think, as old as humankind.  It has been used for recreation, telling stories, religious rituals and as a background to work.  It has the power to soothe when we are tense and stressed, to rouse to action against tyranny and injustice and to lift the spirits when we are sad.  In its different forms it expresses the whole range of human emotions.

While there is a specific genre of children's music with simple, repetitive sounds, even babies will respond to a variety of 'adult' music, and it seems a pity to feed them a constant diet of Wiggles and Hi-5 when this can be varied with so many other sounds, enriching your day and theirs.

How do you use music with children?

Musings about memory and memories

A couple of weeks on holiday and a death in the family, and I have had time to muse about how the memory and the legacy of memories we leave.

The division of memory into short term and long term is commonly accepted, and these days as one approaches 'a certain age' one can become very sensitive to lapses in short term memory, forgetting someone's name; going into a room to fetch something and forgetting what you wanted...the fear of Alzheimer's and related disease is very real.  Our long term memory also tends to fade so memories of our childhood recede, though often when reminiscing with contemporaries or looking at photos, we find we are able to access images and scenes we thought were long gone.

Smell is a sense strongly linked with memory, and especially with those that carry strong emotions.  Remember the smell of the air after rain on a hot day, the aromas of coffee and baking bread that estate agents once used to make buyers more susceptible to a house's charms, Dad's aftershave, Grandma's scent.

There are also memories of physical skills that become so entrenched that we can perform them automatically without consciously recalling each part of the process.  Riding a bicycle is a common example of this, as is driving a manual car without 'bunny hopping'.

As parents, grandparents, nannies, child care professionals we are responsible for moulding the character and behaviours of the children we have in our care, both by our actions and by the role modelling we do. It is amazing to nurse a new born baby and then to watch as that baby grows and develops, both creating memories for us and itself accumulating its own store of memories.

We all know it is no use encouraging children to be kind to other people and in their presence being unkind to someone.  Or having a 'no swearing' policy and then abusing the motorist that cuts us off.  In both these instances, it is not unusual to have a child point out our inconsistency!

When someone dies, many memories are stimulated as people reflect on the person who has died.  This happens even with miscarriages and perinatal births, as once a child is conceived we have a variety of reactions, hopes and fears which centre on the child and the circumstances of its conception and death.  As I have previously written, the death of a child is generally traumatic for all concerned, but all deaths, even peacefully in old age, have an impact on those who have known the person, hence the period of grieving that lingers far beyond the funeral.

I think most of us would want to be remembered as people who are kind, generous, loving, and any of the other attributes we value.  If we achieve great things with our lives for example as scientists, humanitarians, sporting figures we would want these to be remembered.  If our achievements are somewhat more measured we would want to be remembered as people of integrity, living as well as we can.

In Julius Caesar, Shakespeare tells us that "The evil that men do lives after them; The good is oft interred with their bones".  It is terrible to think that this is true of our everyday lives, that all the little things we have done wrong are the things that people remember most about us. I think rather that these misdoings are quite different from those of men like Hitler, Pol Pot, Stalin and Idi Amin.

I read a line in a novel, the title long since forgotten, that lovely old people don't get that way overnight but as the product of their life long way of living.  If that is so, how we are remembered has already started, and the result is in our hands.

When kids are sick...

No, this is not a medical column, and the following are general comments not medical advice. And it is not talking about children who suffer from life threatening conditions, just every day sorts of sickness like colds and tummy upsets.

When I was young, as all great stories start, parents were generally unsophisticated in their medical knowledge.  There was no internet, some families possessed books like an 'encyclopedia of family health' but many people relied on home remedies, old wives' tales and common sense.  Many children suffered severe illnesses like cancer and heart disease but the medical and pharmaceutical knowledge of the time meant that their lives were often shortened and they lived as invalids.  So in many ways, they were the bad old days.

Today with improved knowledge and communication we seem to have become much more health aware.

As parents, nannies and childcare workers we do all in our power to foster children's health by

• ensuring our children receive the full program of immunisations so that the old childhood illnesses like diphtheria, polio, mumps etc are no longer as prevalent in the community
• fostering healthy eating
• encouraging exercise
• building mental health and resilience
• being aware of stages of development and responding when there are difficulties

BUT

When our children our sick, often our common sense flies out the window.

• Baby has a sniffle
• Littlie has diarrhoea  or vomits
• Munchkin has a temperature

Off to the doctor we go, expecting the magic potion, the instant miracle.

Now there can be many factors behind this:

• we don't want our little one to suffer or to be out of sorts
•  we are also fearful this might be the start of something worse
• we are frustrated because a sick child means someone may have to stay home from work to care for the child, or emergency care arrangements made
• we may feel guilty that somehow we haven't taken good enough care of our child
• we are still learning what is normal for children.

I am not saying "don't go to the doctor", nor am I saying to ignore a child who is unwell or has injured him/her self.

What I am saying is to keep a sense of perspective.  We are comfortable to put a sticking plaster on a child with a scrape on the knee, give a kiss and say 'all better now', yet will get medical attention if there is a lot of bleeding or it hurts a child to move a limb.  The number of parents who now attend paediatric first aid courses is partly responsible for this commonsense approach.  In the same way we need to learn to distinguish between minor illnesses that need a quiet time on the sofa in front of TV and those that are serious.  That may require using your doctor and maternal and child health nurses to help you gain confidence in your judgement.  I would also recommed reading and perhaps copying for reference this excellent article by Professor Frank Oberklaid and Doctor Leah Kaminsky.

Over the top reactions to children who feel unwell may result in children learning to use illness as an attention seeking device.  This can mean that attendance at kindergarten or school is disrupted unnecessarily, and the development of unhealthy attitudes to sickness.  We all have times when we are unwell and need a little extra care and comfort, but some people have learnt to manipulate others through their sickness. When children are unwell stay calm, reassure the child and provide  toys, books and games to help pass the time.